The Top 10 Video Game Heroes

What are video games without heroes? Its the essence of why we play in the first place. We WANT to be someone great, and what better way to satisfy that need than by taking control of a vengeant killing machine, a one man army, a broken or tortured anti-hero seeking redemption, or any other imaginable storyline. These are the characters that make video games epic. These are the Top 10 Video Game Heroes.


10. Kratos (God of War series)
Kratos is one of the best anti-heroes of the last decade and the character Sony once called "the face of the PS2". That is a bold statement seeing as Nintendo and Microsoft have their own heroes that they identify their product with. Since the inglorious demise of Crash Bandicoot, Sony hasn't really had a character with which to present their face to the market. Kratos is definitely a decent candidate. He is a ruthless war-machine covered in the ashes of his dead family for whom he seeks vengeance. His signature weapon, The Blades of Chaos, are permanently attached to his arms, making him all the more lethal. The best part about Kratos is how far he is willing to go to achieve his goal: He has to kill a GOD! Yea, that takes some serious brass ones downstairs, ladies and gentlemen.

9. Sonic the Hedgehog (Sonic series)
The console war between Sega and Nintendo was getting tense with the release of the Sega Genesis. The early 90's was an exciting time to be a young gamer and Sega's mascot, that was to rival Mario for VG supremecy, was Sonic the Hedgehog. Largely forgotten by today's young gamers, Sonic was hot shit back in the day. He was every bit as popular as Megaman or Mario, and even Link, who had a poor showing in his sequel. It seemed for a while that Sonic might actually dethrone the red plumber and become the new face of gaming in the nineties. This just wasn't to be, however, as Mario exploded in one of the best titles of all-time with Super Mario Bros. 3. Sonic's popularity began to wane follwing Sonic 3, and although he had a popular run in the comics and went 1 for 2 on television (one show was really great, the other was a puke-covered dog turd with chili dogs, an overly effeminent Tails, and bad guys that made The Three Stooges look like Albert Einstein, Nikola Tesla, and Wernher von Braun), Sonic never appeared in another really great game that held the produced the same excitement and gameplay experience as Sonic 1 and 2. Oh well, he's still our favorite blue hedgehog that saves nature from the ever-increasing threat of expanding industry.

8. Ratchet and Clank (Ratchet and Clank series)
Saving the universe in style, over and over again. Even time travel can't keep these two from forging ahead and cleaning up planet after planet from the scum of the galaxy and dastardly masterminds. They do all this with a genuinely great, albeit innocent, sense of humor. The games are fun and funny, and the heroes banter just never gets old. Sony may want Kratos to be their heroic face, but I think many would conclude that Ratchet and Clank truly hold the distinction as Sony's loveable mascots. They are seven games into the series and we can't wait for the next one.

7. Cloud Strife (Final Fantasy series)
Ok, we all know how this works. Cloud is actually not the MOST heroic Final Fantasy hero, but he is the FACE of Final Fantasy. His story is emo and convuluted at times, but he does defeat one of the most badass villains ever conceived on three seperate occasions. Taking down the most notorious blade-wielder in the world THAT many times speaks volumes to his fighting spirit, even if he is a bit confused at times. So what if in retrospective we realize that he was sort of a poon? You know you loved him the first time you played FF7, and his returning in many other games is proof that people have not forgotten that he is an iconic hero.

6. Master Chief (Halo series)
Halo took us all by suprise. What a game! Really, that's all there is to say about it. Playing as the one-man-army that is Master Chief really made us feel like a true hero. We were proficient with weapons, human and alien alike, as well brutally agile and strong. The play control left no faults other than the player's ability, which meant that you could be as badass as you felt like training to become. While Chief has gotten a break in the last two installments, the allure of playing as a genetically enhanced Spartan has us all addicted to the Halo phenomenon. Covenant, Flood, it makes no difference; they all fall before the merciless onslaught that is Master Chief, humanity's last hope.

5. Samus Aran (Metroid series)
Before there was Dead Space, the terrifying menace of outer-space were the dreaded Metroids. Our only hope of survival lay with Samus Aran, the armor-clad hottie with a myriad of weapons at her disposal. Anyone who knows video games should know at this point that no Metroid game has ever recieved less than a 9.5 from any reviewer...ever. Now that's pretty serious business in the gaming industry. Some of the best franchises in history have completely flopped every now and then. But, not Samus. She never lets us down. Great story + great music + great hero= great series. Plus, who knew we were playing as a chic the whole time? Innovative and entertaining...ok I'm gonna shut up now, sorry I have an affinity for Samus. (She's awesome)

4. Big Boss/Solid Snake (Metal Gear series)
Either as Naked(Big Boss) or Solid Snake, no one can deny that he is one of the most badass heroes ever designed. He's the perfect mix of super-agent and soldier.One part James Bond and one part Rambo. He is also the only hero on here that is intended to bring death silently. He gets the job done as efficiently as possible. What's great about Snake is that he is also very human. We see him get injured, get captured, and get used by "friends" and his own government. While we have to admit that the line is blurred between hero and villain at times, as long as we are playing as Snake and really believe that we are the hero, it has to count. Snake, the modern day tragic hero.

3. Megaman/X (Megaman and Megaman X series)
So they are technically two different characters, but spiritually they are the same. We all know Megaman by this point. They are great games with great soundtracks and full of nostalgia. Many people don't realize, however, that while Mario has starred in over 200 games, Megaman is second on the all-time list with 189 appearances. The legendary Blue Bomber slides into the number 3 spot on my list for the many years of entertainment and robot ass-kickery.

2. Mario (like you really don't know? series)
The undisputed face of video gaming, Mario has starred in over 200 titles. One friend put it as, " more people in the world recognize Mario than they do Jesus". I have to agree, the red plumber is everywhere, and although his story is the simple "save the damsel-in-distress from the monster", it just never seems to get old. Endless entertainment from a series that may make no damn sense when we think about it, but if it wasn't around could the industry have survived? For being a hero to the Princess and to the industry, Mario settles in at number 2.

1. Link (The Legend of Zelda series)
The original epic hero. Link, in all his incarnations,has battled the evil Ganon (in all HIS incarnations) throughout the most confusing, but entertaining franchise in gaming history. If you have never played a Zelda game, then why the hell are you reading this list? Epic, Legendary, Mind-blowing, any of the terms will suffice. Aside from the two lousy CD-i games, and the less than flattering depiction in the cartoon, Link will always be number 1 in the hearts of gamers who are in search of a true hero.

Oh no, The Top 10 Final Fantasy Games

I really don't know why I am going to tackle this topic. I love all the Final Fantasy games, so I really hate to rank them and these games are soooo personal to gamers that they stir up alot of emotion and debate. Well, I encourage comments and opinions, but keep in mind that I stayed as neutral as possible while organizing this countdown and I have gone back to review and replay whatever was necessary to be fair to the entire series. We all know, though, that it is inherently impossible to NOT be opinionated. Having said that, please enjoy the countdown and don't freak out if your favorite isn't where you'd like it. By the way, in an attempt to avoid spoilers, I may leave out some details, but rest assure I have played all of these games and put in the time necessary to judge them accordingly.

The Top 10 Final Fantasy Games (according to me)


10. Final Fantasy II/Final Fantasy XII (2006/PS2, 1988/Famicom)



Ok, ok, I know I have a tie right out of the gate, but there's good reason. Final Fantasy 12 was going to hold this spot alone. I think it is an incredibly rendered game and the cut scenes really blew me away the first time I played through this game (especially the Espers). While the gambit system let the game practically play itself (if you choose to set it up that way), it was new and innovative and, along with the liscense system, at least tried to improve the flow of the game. Even if you hated the gameplay, this is nothing new for the series. It practically changes EVERY game anyway. Some you hate, some you love. The story in FF12 has also come under alot of scrutiny. It has been said that it draws too much from Star Wars. I really disagree with this. Of course we love to take elements from the stories that inspired us as writers and story-tellers. It just seems like everything cool has already been done. That's why all the movies that are coming out are remakes and reboots. BUUUUTTT, actually FF12 steals most of it's material from Final Fantasy 2, and FF2 is the real culprit when it comes to ripping off Star Wars. So don't blame 12and that's why they are sharing this spot. Now, to give FF2 some credit, it was the first FF game to have named characters and party change-outs. It also introduced Chocobos and Cid. So, this game is very important when it comes to FF canon, but it's gameplay is so very flawed. Alot of patience and the Bloodsword are all you really need to make this game your bitch. Back to story correlation, they really are way too close. Young warrior, headstrong girl, cocky pilot, relative that loses their way and turns evil under the influence of an evil emperor who is dabbling in dark arts but eventually sees the error of his ways and ultimately assists our heroes, the doomsday weapon that threatens all who would oppose the empire's authority...Ok now tell me which story I was just describing: FF12, FF2, or Star Wars. Time's up, the correct answer was ALL OF THE ABOVE. Oh well, welcome to the countdown.


9. Final Fantasy XIII (2009, PS3/X360)


I know it may still be a little early and we don't know how this game will stand the test of time, but it is really one of the most gorgeous games I have ever looked at. Did we really expect any less though? The first 5th gen Final Fantasy didn't disappoint in the looks department, but it most definitely shook up the fans when it came to gameplay and story. There was a lot that we didn't understand at first. It has the classic "just throw them in there and let them mix it up" beginning. Then they start talking about storyline elements that we have no clue about yet. You really have to give this game a chance, though. It eventually comes together and ends up being a very entertaining play. Plus, Lightning, while emo(like alot of FF leads), is actually pretty awesome. She is like a mix between the tough, hotness of Tifa Lockhart and the badass, emoness of Squall Leonhart. If those two had a kid it would be Squifa Leonckhart, and that's just stupid, so we would call it Lightning. The music is also an interesting departure from previous scores and of course the visuals keep you on edge. All in all, I was very pleased with this game, it is just missing too many classic FF elements that keep it from being a truly great FF game.


8. Final Fantasy VIII (1999, PS1)


I have always been very torn when it comes to FF8. I really love this game and the characters, but the gameplay and story constantly bother me. It is a very good storyline...it just never felt like a Final Fantasy until the end. It borrows heavily from the mood and setting set down in FF7, while adding story elements you see in FF1. Mix this with a presentation that was taken directly from the success of Parasite Eve and you have Final Fantasy 8. I was so excited when this game came out when I saw they were going to have proportional characters and backdrops like Parasite Eve. The cinemas looked amazing...well just everything looked amazing. But, much like FF13, there's something about it that just isn't classic Final Fantasy. That may be a positive thing for some players (maybe you want to get lost in the game and not have it stereotyped as "another final fantasy"). To me though, it is a great game, just not great enough to be any higher on the list( And I HATE the junction system).


7. Final Fantasy I (1987, NES)


What kind of countdown would this be without the original? This is the game that saved Square and gave us one of the best video game franchises ever. Taking elements from D&D and a world straight out of Tolkien's mind, Final Fantasy blew gamer's minds with open world, non-linear gameplay wrapped in an intriguing and epic story. This game is so much fun to play today on any system. Just Thank God for the internet so we can remember where we are going.


6. Final Fantasy Tactics (1998, PS1)


I have never really been a fan of tactics based RPGs. They just aren't my thing. I love Disgaea series...and then there's this game. All I can say is...WOW. This game is awesome. It is narrated by a historian (Olan) telling us the story as we play through the "War of the Lions". It is actually a really, really good story. I don't want to spoil it, so I'll just say the ending is definitely worth the effort that goes into this very challenging but very satisfying game.


5. Final Fantasy IX (2000, PS1)


To be honest, I'm not a huge fan of FF9. I do, however, appreciate many things about it. It is such a throwback that it is extremely nostalgic. They really put emphasis on making sure the characters represented the original job classes from FF1-3. That is just so awesome. But, for the first time we got to see these types of characters AND really got a sense of personality. The storylines are great for all of these characters and this game is just so incredibly well-written. The gameplay is solid and the visuals and music are great. It deserves to be higher on the list and I know many people will agree, but I'm being objective and it has to stay in the number 5 spot. One little fact though: Final Fantasy IX received a score of 94% from Game Rankings. That's the second highest ranking for a Final Fantasy game, only bested by a game that will be seen later on this countdown.


4. Final Fantasy IV (1991, SNES)


This is where it gets really hard to put anything down. Mostly because it hurts me to admit that one game is considered lesser than another. I truly regret as I am writing this that FF4 is not in the number 3 spot. I honestly don't know if I'm making the right decision here, but I've set this game and the next side-by-side and this is just the conclusion I came to. Final Fantasy IV is the first truly "amazing" Final Fantasy game and I believe that it really sealed the franchise's place in history. This is the game that made sure it was here to stay. While we recieved it as "Final Fantasy II" and looked at it as an amazing jump from FF1, even in Japan it was considered a huge step foward. The storyline in this game is the ultimate tale of redemption and has, what I would consider, one of the best casts in the series. Some people think that Cecil sells out and is a sissy as a Paladin, but seriously, that's just jealousy. This is one of the few Final Fantasy games where you DON'T hate somebody. It is just awesome all the way around and the gameplay is solid...it just happened to be outdone by three other games. Keep in mind though, it could very well be interchangeable with number 3 on the list.


3. Final Fantasy X (2001, PS2)


We finally got a Final Fantasy game with voice acting!!! Ok, its not the best voice acting, but it does add alot to the game. Final Fantasy X has arguably the most innovative storyline in the entire series. It is so unlike everything else the series has to offer, and yet FEELS like a Final Fantasy game. It really thinks outside the box and still has a very basic approach to gameplay. It really is no different than the original active time battle system introduced in FF4, and yet has the sphere grid to allow you to customize your character's progress. It has all the great elements of a modern FF game and an old FF game with none of the drawbacks. It really is just solid all-around. You can't hate that. And I don't care what anyone says, Tidus is NOT a bad lead. The cast may not be as well designed as other FF games, but they more than make up with it in story.


2. Final Fantasy VI (1994, SNES)



Before you hate me, hear me out!!! This is hands-down my favorite Final Fantasy game. It is a perfect work of art. This is the game that was rated 96% on Game Rankings and is the highest rated Final Fantasy game ever. You all know now what number 1 is going to be so let's just kick back and hear my reasoning on why I set the countdown up this way. FF6 has what I consider to be the most epic story, best villain, biggest plot twist, and best musical score. It has the most playable characters and a deep customizable gameplay system. Sure Sephiroth was an asshole for killing Aeris and made us all sit in our gaming chairs seething with hate and yearning for revenge, but Kefka poisoned a whole damn city just to kill ONE MAN. The Nazis didn't even do that shit and Stalin just rolled over in his grave and said "Holy Fuck, man!" So we go after him right? Well yea, and he DESTROYS THE WORLD. Yep, that's right, the villain wins half-way through the game. Suck on that Sephiroth. Anyway, it is also the first game to really blur the genre of Medieval-style epic adventure with Industrial Age technology. It really is the first "modern" Final Fantasy, NOT Final Fantasy 7. The only people who forget this are the people who claim to be FF fans and haven't played all of the games. FF6 is only forgotten by those who haven't played it. Sure, it was hard as hell when it came out, and still presents a challenge today if you don't know the secrets to beating certain bosses, but you have the internet and NO EXCUSE for not playing this game today. There is NOTHING bad to say about it. All of the characters have deep, engaging storylines encompassing love, loss, fate, and purpose on a scale that all other Final Fantasy games either failed at or just couldn't quite match. The only thing that holds this game back was the limitations of the SNES (which was already pushed to it's extreme with this game). I sincerely apologize for not putting this game at number 1, but I said I was going to be impartial and I have to admit that in the realm of Final Fantasy the best and most complete game is...


1. Final Fantasy VII (1997, PS1)



...Final Fantasy VII. The story is not as good as FF6 to me and many other fans who can appreciate all of the games for what they are. Based on innovation, story, gameplay, and importance, however, this game really deserves the hype. It really is great. There's no denying that, even though most hardcore fans hold FF6 so dear. Final Fantasy 7 was the franchise's first endeavour into 3D and didn't disappoint. Everything is rendered extremely well for it's time. Even though it draws from elements set down in FF6, I consider, for the most part, this to be the turning point in the franchise. There are only pre-FF7 games and post-FF7 games. Not only with hardware, but overall approach and mood. Just look at the Final Fantasy games that followed it. FF7 opened the door for future FF games to break away from the Tolkien/D&D epic theme and become their own stories. Even though they all take from their predecessors for nostalgia, it is almost impossible to notice any similarities without close examination and super-nerd-like perception. They just start seperating themselves from each other and become their own identities after FF7. I think that's a beautiful thing. The gameplay is completely solid, if not perfect. The musical score sounded amazing and is second only to FF6 in my mind (I know FF7 had the advantage with the PS1 hardware). And, while some may like the numerous playable characters FF6 offered, FF7 carried a great story with a more traditional small cast. I know Barret kind of reminds you of Danny Glover as Lt. Murtaugh in Lethal Weapon, but no one really pisses you off when you play through for the first time. Now that we are older we can look back and say, "Wwwweeellll...Cloud really was a little bitch", but do you really hate him? And I've already stated that Sephiroth, as awesome as he is, doesn't hold a candle to Kefka from FF6, but he's still pretty badass in his own right. So what is wrong here? This game may not be the most satisfying to the hardcore fan, but it really deserves to be the number 1 Final Fantasy game of all-time. It took what was great from the past and added everything we would see in the future. Time has proven: This is the game that defined the series. Congratulations FF7, you got me to admit it.

Hope you enjoyed and look foward to my next countdowns later in the week: Snake's Top 10 Video Game Plot Holes and Snake's Top 10 WTF Video Game Twists.

Top 10 Video Game Developers! (feat. Waste Control Dave)

As much as we enjoy just popping in the disk and relaxing over an awesome video game, we must take a second to appreciate the genius and hard work that goes into creating that which becomes our passion and, in some cases, our downfall. This list is dedicated to the Top 10 Video Game Developers. These are the companies that allow us to escape our real world troubles. But wait! I'm not about to tackle such a controversial list on my own. That is why I have a guest lister today. Joining me in this endeavour will be Dave, aka Waste Control, from Boss Battle Podcast. Dave?...

Shit man, I'm a talker, not a writer. Oh well, guess I'll give it a go. We all have our favorite developers and publishers, those crews that we rush out to buy their new game reguardless of what it is. This list is about the ten teams that have made significant advances in this hobby that has blown up. We put our heads together and came up with this list. Remember, this is how we see it. You're going to disagree. That's the fun of the internet.


The Top 10 Video Game Developers


10. Epic

(Snake) Two Words: Unreal Engine. Unreal Tournament is the first time I had ever played such in such an in-depth, realistic world. It also introduced me to first person, multiplayer combat. No, not Goldeneye, UNREAL. This engine revolutionized the gaming industry. I would not be playing Halo today if I had not been stuck in the arcade booths honing my skills as a professional trash-talker playing Unreal in the arcades. Just look at how many games use this.

(Waste Control Dave) Couldn't agree more. The Unreal Engine has changed the way developers craft games. When you see Powered By Unreal at the start of a game, you know it's going to be strong. Although I don't really care for their personal games, I have to give it to Epic for making an Engine that is beast.


9. Bandai-Namco

(Snake) This is the company that truly brought Japan to America. There's really not much else to say other than that. They gave us gems that would have otherwise fallen to the wayside and would only be mentioned in passing as we perused our local video game establishments that still trade "retro" games. If you've ever played a truly Japanese import, you'll understand what I mean. They do great work over there...most of the time, and Bandai didn't just give us our favorite toys...but also the chance to play games we would otherwise never see.

(Waste Control Dave) I agree. God I'm so thankful for Bandai. Not only did they bring Japan to us ignorant Americans, but opened the doors for other companies to do the same, like Nippion Ichi and Aksys. Some of my favorite games came from these guys, and they really helped bring some new and inovative games to the American stage. Fucking Katarami. Amazing.



8. Id

(Snake) Doom...Enough said.

(Waste Control Dave) Yeah, what he said. Oh, and Rage.


7. Bungie

(Snake)I can't say enough about Bungie. I don't care what you think about Halo, these guys are awesome. They are passionate about the games that they develope and it shows. This really brings me back to the glory days of gaming (Megaman, Zelda, etc..). They love that they struck gold and they should be proud. Deep storylines, great gameplay, and multiplayer! You can't deny it, they are young, but they have set there place in video game history in stone.

(W.C. Dave) Bunige's the only company that I know of that has masterfully crafted an amazing storyline in all their games.....in a fucking FPS. It's also the only shooter that has both a solid single and multiplayer. Even though they have merged with Microsoft at this point, they learned that they needed to close the doors on Halo and move on to something new. Other companies might want to take a cue from them.


6. Bethesda

(Snake) Bethesda is amazing at what they do...but that encompasses alot. They make great games that cross genres and that's so important when it comes to gathering a gamer following. Umm...Elder Scrolls, Fallout 3, and now...a new Fallout? Hell Fucking Yes.

(W.C. Dave) As a guy that loves DnD, Bethesda brought that sense of wonder and excitement about fantasy roleplaying off the paper and on to the screen. Ever action had a reaction, whether imediately or down the road. Even though the story was the same no matter how times you played it, it was the ability to play it any way you wanted that really enveloped freedom. And now that they have the reins of Fallout, they blended their ideas from Elder Scrolls into the world of Fallout and made it fantastic. I know people say it isn't the same Fallout anymore, but that's ok in this case. Hey, we could have gotten another Fallout Tactics. Quit your bitching.


5. Valve

(Snake) Half-Life series is one of my favorite new series that has come out in the last decade. The physics engine is just amazing. But what else can you say? Left 4 Dead, Portal...really what the fuck!?! This shit is awesome, ughhh Dave take it please I'm having a moment.

(W.C.) Man, I'm just drooling. I'm a Valve fan-boy through and through. I cant think of a single game that they have made that was bad. Inovative? Yep. Ground-breaking? Hell yeah. And now with Portal 2, Valve will always have a place in my black little heart. Fuck, I still play TF2 on the xbox. The only thing I have to say about them is that Valve Time sucks. But the wait is so worth it.


4. Blizzard

(Snake) I really sank my gamer teeth into the mid-ninties PC craze. It just all fell into place. My dad was a PC gamer and I was a console gamer, but when SNES couldn't offer anything (because I couldn't buy games on my own), I had to start appealing to my dad's affection for PC games. Blizzard really delivered. I love strategy games because I am a military history nerd. Blizzard just fucking delivers. STILL. Yes, Blizzard.

(W.C. Dave) What can you say? They hold the crown for MMOs, RTSs and Hack and Slash. Jesus, everyone has been chomping at the bit for Starcraft 2, and hell, when MLG picks up your game the day it drops, you know you're at the top of not only your game, but the game as a whole. Every game is solid and when you have the following that Blizzard does, you have to live up to it. And Blizzard never fails.



3. Square (soft, enix..whatever it is)

(Snake) I really can't say anything that everyone doesn't already know. Square is sooooo awesome. Final Fucking Fantasy...Hell yes. But it goes way beyond that. Square has just brought itself out of the ashes of bankruptcy to attract the attention of not only Disney, but every Japanese and American gamer. Square just can't do wrong right now unless they try. (OK some of the shitty Final Fantasies don't count, they still have Kingdom Hearts)

(W.C. Dave) What's left to say? It's Square. They are amazing. Oh yeah, and they gave us Chrono Trigger.


2. Nintendo

(Snake) Ok...where would we be without Nintendo. Sure, they flooded the market with alot of shit, but they gave us so many icons. Legend of Zelda, Mario...that right there alone should give us reason to bow down. I don't care where your allegiences lie, we ALL owe Nintendo for even having games so available to play.

(W.C.) When you talk about Icons, it doesn't get any bigger than Nintendo. Damn man, everyone knows Mario. Shit, even people who don't game know the red shirt plumber. And as a company, no one is emulated more than Nintendo. Motion control? Nintendo. Handheld? Nintendo. No one has been copied more. And no one has made more of an impact in lives than Nintendo.


1. LJN

(Snake) LJN is just amazing in everything they put out.......

Ok that's just fucking stupid. Here's the REAL number 1


1. Capcom

(Snake) Hell Yes, Capcom. What genre can they not tackle? Ok there actually is an answer to that, but I'll leave it to W.C. to call me out on it. BBBUUUTTTT, Megaman bitches. Only one of the best series to ever exist. Mario may hold the record for most appearences in video games, but most people don't realize that Megaman is number 2. Other than that, Street Fighter and the Marvel license... yea tournaments are still centered around their games that have been out for over a decade and some close to twenty years.

(W.C.) Yeah. FPS. Anyway, Snake is the Capcom fanboy, so I only have a little to say about it. It all comes down to versitility, and Capcom does it to a T. They've fucked up in the past, but when they get it right, it's out of this world.


So that's it(fuck you Waste Control). I hope you enjoyed our take on the Top 10 Video Game Developers. It was a fun process and I hope you check out Boss Battle Podcast to hear more from Waste Control Dave.

Snake's Top 10 Video Game Crushes(pics included)

Yes, yes, it was only a matter of time before this list came up. Every true nerd has to admit his/her virtual crushes. What can I say, I believe video games are art and, well, these designers know how to make some beautiful worlds with beautiful characters. Not to mention, the stories are so well written at times that you get connected to these characters the same way you would reading a book or watching a movie. By no means am I going to give in and marry a video game or character like that dude in Japan, but I'm not gonna deny that these girls, virtual or not, are pretty damn hot. Please feel free to comment on your favorite, and enjoy.

Snake's Top 10 Video Game Crushes


10. Bayonetta (Bayonetta)
Ok, some of you are already rolling your eyes. The game was cheesy at times, but I really enjoyed playing it and Bayonetta is pretty sexy. I just love how she taunts ANGELS with her body and sexuality. It is naughty and she just puts it out there. Plus, she's got some cool weapons and smooth moves.




9. Lei Fang (Dead or Alive series)
Out of all of the gratuitously rendered hotties in DOA, Lei Fang has to be my choice. The long, dark hair, her high-slit dress, she's kicking your ass in stilettos, it was just all awesome. Also, her fighting style ensured that she would be kicking those exposed legs all over the damn place. Pretty sweet.




8. Samus Aran (Metroid Series)
This almost seems a little cliche' at this point because of Samus' resurgence in popularity, but I really love Metroid series and hence, I've always had a connection with Samus. She may be in the suit most of the time, but let's be real, she kicks some serious ass...and that's pretty hot.



7. Rayne (BloodRayne series)
For those of us who wish we could BE Dante from Devil May Cry, we wanted to MARRY Rayne. In my book she still reigns as the Goth Queen of Video games. Sorry Bayonetta. Also she's a vampire, what's not awesome about that...except Twilight. Fuck you Twilight.


6. Mai Shiranui (Fatal Fury, King of Fighters)
With the explosion of fighting games in the early 90's, alot of gamers tended to overlook SNK in favor of Capcom's Street Fighter and Midway's Mortal Kombat. Those of us rabid fans of fighting games, however, took to SNK and I really think it paid off. An often forgotten character in America, yet one of the most common Cosplay's you will see, Mai is just hot. Everyone was busy watching Chun-Li and her mega-thighs jumping all over the screen, and missed the very scantily clad Mai kicking ten-times more ass in King of Fighters and Fatal Fury. Oh Mai, you can kick my ass any day.



5. Joanna Dark (Perfect Dark Series)
I'm really waiting on a new game to revitalize this series. I love this series and this heroine really deserves a game that does her justice. She's rough and tumble, knows how to work technology, and is the hottest super-agent I've ever seen.



4. Poison (Final Fight)
Now we're going way back and obscure, but can you blame me? Poison would probably be even higher if I had the chance to see her character in action on TODAY'S consoles. Oh well, we still have the memories and the fan art. So what makes her hot? First off, she's got the bad-girl, cop, stripper thing working for her. She's like straight out of a glam metal video. It is ridiculous. Daisy Dukes, high-heels, and a barely hanging on shirt. She really has that "when I'm not having Lesbian sex, I'm using dirty needles and screwing guys for money" look about her. She's the chick you literally have to weigh the options over. "Am I going to catch something?" Well yea, to be honest, probably if she just breathes on you. So if you're a few drinks down, you've probably already made your decision and there is no saving you. You're so bad Poison.




3. Tifa Lockhart (Final Fantasy 7, Crisis Core,)
Tifa is a HUGE fan favorite, and it is easy to see why. She is very feminine, but she's a brawler. She's the perfect "guy's girl". She's the chick that will sit and drink beer and eat nachos while watching football and then throw you out the window when you get too drunk and ruin the game for everyone.



2. Morrigan Aensland (Darkstalkers series)
I'll make this easy. Let's forget about playing her as a character and I'll just tell you what's up. She's a succubus, dominatrix, and can change her clothes into whatever she needs at the time. Maleable wardrobe. Yes. There is nothing wrong with any of that. I just told you that she is going to rape you, and she'll wear whatever you want her to. I need say nothing more.



1. Aya Brea (Parasite Eve series)
Ahh, my first and always video game crush. Aya Brea is just an awesome character. Super-feminine, yet an ex-cop, who is the only one that has the powers to fight the evil that terrorizes New York. If you've played the games, you already know what's going on, and it is hard to explain to those who have never played it, but I'll give it a try. She's 39, but since she developed her powers (the regen specifically) she's trapped looking like she's still in her early 20's (when she got the powers). So basically, you get the best of a cougar in a body that looks like a college freshman. That's pretty awesome. Basically, she's a sad character that you really pity, and you just connect to her. Plus, she's gets hotter and more mature through the games. Just a side note, Parasite Eve: The 3rd Birthday will be arriving in North America in the near future. If you want to see what Aya looks like on the PSP, I suggest you check out the trailer and stills from the game. It looks amazing...and so does Aya




Girls who didn't quite make it

Fran (Final Fantasy 12)

Lara Croft (Tomb Raider)

Kaileena (Prince of Persia)

Ivy (Soul Caliber)

Cortana (Halo)

Lightning (Final Fantasy 13)

Terra and Celes (Final Fantasy 6)

Ada Wong (Resident Evil)

Lulu (Final Fantasy 10)

Harley Quinn (Arkham Asylum)

Christie (DOA)

Christie Monteiro (Tekken)

Top 10 Gamers that we HATE! (But sometimes ARE)

I wanted to start the week off with another personal list, as it is less time consuming and I've been very busy since last Wednesday. This list is also inspired by Episode 3 of the Boss Battle Podcast which I follow. On the show, they were talking about MLG and more specifically, the politics surrounding it. They also touched on a few annoyances that the gamers affiliated with MLG tend to provide for those of us who still just enjoy playing the games for the entertainment value. I mean, come on, what serious gamer hasn't gotten online only find their blood pressure rising, their hygiene faltering, and their dependence on alcohol increasing. We can thank those little annoyances for all of this, and today I want to make a list of the Top 10 things that drive us not UP, but THROUGH the goddamned wall. Just keep in mind, we have been this bitch ourselves.

The Top Gamers that we HATE!(But sometimes ARE)

10. The Underaged Gamer

This gamer only makes it in at number 10 because it is so damn obvious. Everyone who reads this should have known it was going to be on here. The Underaged Gamer is so annoying for several reasons. First, their pre-pubecent voice gets on your nerves in the first twenty seconds upon hearing them. Second, they only have two possible personalities. They are SO excited to be online talking to the "big kids" that they really believe we want to go into a private game with them JUST to show them the good hiding spots or map tricks. If not that, they want to be big and bad by talking shit to people who are old enough to be their mom or dad. Well, here's the breakdown. If you want to be our friend: Don't bother. Apparently you have none to begin with, and your mom and dad left the Xbox to babysit you. I'm there to play a game and take an hour out of my day to have no responsibilities. You are becoming a responsibility at that point. I don't want to hold your hand and walk you through your online experience. It is actually starting to pain me, ever so slightly, to be this mean, because it isn't like I go around telling kids that they will never have friends, I just can't be one...sorry. Oh, Lord, and for the kids that want to be badass and talk shit...this is very simple and I don't care about being mean. You don't bother gamers in their 20's and 30's. Do you know why? Because, we have actually been through puberty, high-school, college and now we live in the real world with real jobs, real bosses, and real girlfriends and wives. It is obvious that your parents don't love you because you are online talking shit to random strangers, but get real, we have actually been shit on. We've been screwed over and chewed out so much in the last ten years, we really don't care what you have to say to us. Oh, and if you're really that tough on Halo or COD, I'd like to see you shoot a real rifle. Call me in 10 years when you can actually afford and legally own one.


9. The Weapon Hoarder/Loser

Ok, even though I am literally tired already from writing about the Underaged Gamer, I promise to forge ahead and not get too angry. The Weapon Hoarder is that guy who has to rush and gather every power weapon on the map...because they suck. The only way they feel they can compete (or even get a single kill) is to grab these weapons. The inherent problem is that you essentially screw over your entire team. You have practically prevented any kind of strategy by taking these weapons and immediately handing them over to the enemy because you don't know how to use them. Remember, the reason you wanted these weapons is because you suck. Did you really think the Rocket Launcher and Energy Sword were going to save you from even 2 more experienced players? That's really giving you the benefit of doubt. One good player could probabaly still leave you a crying heap and take those weapons back to his friends, but what if they come with 4? YOU ARE BONED! Just as your remaining teammates jog up to the puddle that used to be your body, they are just in time to catch front row seats to that beautiful display of glowing death and rocket trails. Thanks, Weapon Hoarder...for nothing.


8. Music in the Microphone

I like to listen to music while I'm playing online games. I also have a mute button on my microphone that I use quite frequently. That should just about explain what these people are doing wrong. They are the people that want to talk in the lobby, but have loud (and usually shitty) music playing in the background. If that's not bad enough, there are also gamers who really believe we want to hear them sing or rap along with it. Really, like some record producer is going to be in the lobby with you (just wanting to blow off some steam after a long day) and says to himself, "now that's the sound I've been looking for!". Well then, I believe you forgot what everyone you are playing with sounds like through YOUR speakers. Yea, you sound that digitized and out-of-tune also. It could be the most kick-ass song ever that's playing in the background, but it is going to sound like bad karaoke being played through a cassette player with the batteries dying.


7. Not victorious and not moved at all

This is an interesting breed of gamer because they don't have to necessarily be a dick. It is undeniable, though, how annoying they can be. These people just get to you SO bad. What do you have to do to get them to realize that they aren't God's gift to gaming? Here's an example. I was recently playing Halo and I found myself in a match pitted against 4 members of a well known clan. My team decided to ditch on me and I was left with one teammate who racked up an impressive...4 kills. The match ended with just seconds left on the clock with a final score of 50 to 37. My team had just won. That's right, I ran 46 kills to their entire team's 37. Upon returning to the lobby, I was immediately invited by the "leader" of this paticular team (apparently he was the officer that was taking these newer recruits out for "practice") to join the clan under his unit...or plattoon...or whatever the hell they break down as. Well, I thought that maybe it was finally time to join up with some sort of clan and take my gaming to the next level...wait a damn minute, I have to be under you? I beat the hell out of your entire team, you included, by myself! Wait, what? You have to read me the rules and I have to repeat the oath? You are already scheduling practice for me? DUDE I JUST KICKED YOUR ASS! Shouldn't you be asking ME to take your team out and train them, cause you're doing a shitty job. Ok, now that I'm finished with that story, you hopefully get the idea. These are the people that will talk you down while your patiently (and silently) waiting on the map to load, and then have nothing to say (or a lame excuse) when you go killing machine on them during the game. No reaction period, because God forbid they run into one person who usurps their authority. You just can't always be the big dog in the party. Sorry dude.


6. Team Ditchers

Pretty self-explanatory. These are the guys who either ditch the game because they are losing, or they enter the game and don't do anything. They just stand there where they spawn and wait for the enemy to find them. Did they go make a sandwich or something? Either way this is annoying because of the subsequent screen re-load and inevitable ditching of other players whose patience had worn thin.


5. The Glitch Whore

Well, sometimes you just can't avoid it: There will be glitches in games and the gamers that REALLY love that game WILL FIND THEM. Now, I have to admit that the super-bounces from Halo 2 were pretty entertaining. Still, it just isn't fun when you can get completely screwed over based on a FLAW in the game. Let's keep that in mind: the game is flawed. The biggest argument in support of using glitches is because it is part of the game and the better gamer will know how to use it to his/her advantage. Well, let me get away from shooters for a second and use another example. Let's pretend you are at the arcade and really want to play Marvel v. Capcom 2. You like this game and are pretty good at it. So you waltz up and stick your money in to play this goofy looking bastard that doesn't look like he knows what he's doing. He's using Gambit as his primary character and you think, "wow what a shitty team, this oughtta be fun". Then in the first 10 seconds of the game he has inflicted superior damage on you, so he decides to flee the battlefield while he has the advantage...literally, he flies off the screen. See, there's a nifty little trick where you can fly Gambit off the screen and let the timer run out to secure an easy victory. Now that's pretty damn cheap, but, without gonig into too much detail, there's several "infinite" combos stuck in MvC2 also. Games will always have flaws, and gamers will exploit them.


4. The Spawn Stalker

Everyone hates the spawn killer. These are the guys that camp out at spawn points to snag easy kills. They literally have you dead before your screen even comes back up. But, there are several ways to do it. Let's look at the three most annoying.
Name: The Crouch Stalker
Most Notorious in: Call of Duty series
M.O.: The Crouch stalker likes to hide in a corner usually behind and just out of sight of spawning enemies. He then proceeds to take a (usually silenced) sub-machine gun or handgun and fill all returning players full of brand-new holes to replace the old ones.

Name: The Spawn Sniper
Most Notorious in: Halo and Call of Duty
M.O.: The Spawn Sniper waits from a secure perch with plenty of cover. He/She then stays scoped in on a certain spawn point while his/her teammates try to keep fresh enemies spawning there. Carnage ensues.

Name: The Spawn Trapper
Most Notorious in: Goldeneye
M.O. The Spawn Trapper's favorite method of douche-baggery consists of using C4, Claymores, or any other type of planted anti-personel explosive device to trap the freshly spawned enemies in that designated area. The only options are to designate someone to effectively set off the traps, allowing the teammates to escape, or wait to be cut down by one of the spawn killers listed above. Good luck, fucker.


3. Excessive Cussing and Racial Slurs

This is easily the most annoying thing about 1. having a microphone and 2. having to deal with people online. Some people use the microphone for the right reasons. They communicate well and work well with teammates or they are friendly and give and recieve advice in the lobby. Then there are those who insist the microphone was included with the Xbox for the sole purpose of flooding stranger's living rooms with the most vile profanity and bigotry. Seriously, I don't want to turn down my speakers because you can't shut up for two minutes about infected vaginas and how much you hate the Mexicans next door or whatever the hell your problem is. They are probably from a Central American country that you couldn't find on a map anyway. If you insist on using profanity, please be creative and humorous with it. That's hilarious. But, if you just sound like someone with a 15 word vocabulary, I highly doubt anyone wants to hear you repeat that same shit over and over and over...


2. The Screen Watcher

Yes, the most obviously annoying asshole-gamer behavior. Oddly enough, it is the most instantly gratifying, as you are allowed to give them the finger right there on the spot instead of the internet gamers that will go on unknowing about your intense, psychotic rage toward them. Seriously though, this is the great-grandaddy of all things that piss off gamers. Yep, I would trace my own hatred for this...probably back to the "strategic weapon choices" of Super Mario Kart. Ahh, the memories. Let's just reminisce about our favorite times we've gotten owned and jumped on the chance to call someone a "screen watching whore".


1. The Red Turtle Sheller

While I'm mentioning Mario Kart, I have decided to name the number one Most Annoying Gamer we HATE in honor of the series. Keep in mind, though, that this gamer can be found EVERYWHERE. This is the gamer that is not as skilled or experienced as you, but they catch every break, spawn with the best weapons, and just find themselves at the right place in the right time. Basically, they have all the luck, and YOU JUST CAN'T BEAT THEM. It doesn't matter what type of game it is. Whether you are trying to out-shoot, out-drive, or out-fight this gamer, they just Inspector Gadget their way to victory and it pisses you off to no end. It may be that perfect spawn spot, that right Tetris piece, that across-the-map knife or grenade throw, or even the infamous Red Turtle Shell right before the finish line, this person WILL get it, and they WILL beat you.

Well that's it and I hope you enjoyed another laid-back personal list. I must admit though, I got a little mad just writing about these gamers. Look for a few more lists later in the week, including Snake's Top 10 Video Game Crushes, and make sure to check out Boss Battle Podcast with Dave and Mike.

Top 10 Most Influential Games...On Me!

While I am still compiling my lists for Halo which will be out later this week, I decided to do a personal list to pass the time. These are the games that really made an impact on me as a gamer. In one way or another, these are the MOST important games I have played, because they made me what I'm interested in today. These are the games that really satisfied my inner fantasies and continue to let me get away from it all today. You know that feeling as a gamer. Whether you just love to destress by shooting the hell out of everything in a sandbox game like GTA, or you love to play DOA because pixelated boobies are your thing, IT DOESN'T MATTER: These games let you escape from the mundane hours spent interacting with boring, albeit real, people and enter a world where it is actually legal to own a Rocket Launcher, and where your drunk and outta-shape ass is physically capable of swinging a 9ft sword. Please enjoy and look for Halo articles in the next few days.

The Top 10 Most Influential Games...On Me

10. Pitfall! (1982, Atari 2600, Activision)
Pitfall! makes the number 10 spot on my list mainly because this is the first video game that I really identified with. It seems so simple now, but at the time this game just stood out more than Frogger, Centipede, or Space Invaders. Pitfall! just happened to be that game that I would shit my pants over the chance to play. But, time rolls on and this game was already obsolete by the time I got a chance to play it. Pretty soon I found myself introduced to the new Nintendo Entertainment System and that old Atari 2600 eventually lost the will to live and had to go. This is a real shame because I own all of my original systems except for the old Atari.

9. Mortal Kombat/Street Fighter 2 (MK: 1992,Arcade,Midway)(SF2: 1991,Arcade,Capcom)
Despite the vast differences between these two games, they share one very important thing in common when it comes to my video game past: They drew me to the arcade for the first time. I remember reading in my GamePro about both of these games, and being blown away by what seemed like the sudden invasion of "Fighting Games". While I really don't play that many fighting games anymore, (MVC2, Soul Caliber, and DOA is really all I do anymore) I can't deny what these games did for me in the 90's. I was really stuck on these games and they became a staple for my childhood best friend and I to constantly challenge each other with. Aside from that, these were games that broke the age and skill barrier down. I would be in the arcade and have someone 5 years older and more experienced next to me, and I am playing directly against HIS skill. It really brought walls down for me as a gamer and opened my eyes to what it took to be a GOOD gamer, because there were obviously other people putting in the effort.

8. Parasite Eve (1998, Playstation, SquareSoft)
I have a pretty good idea of why I latched onto this game too hard, but it really does baffle me at times. I mean, it is a damn good game, but it really tends to fall into that "forgotten" catagory along with alot of other very decent games that just didn't catch on but have a rabid cult following. Well, I guess this game had me drinking the Kool Aid because I'm still talking about it. This game is best described as a "Survival-Horror RPG". Yea, for those of you who have never played it, let that sink in for a second. Sure, its been done since, but this was 1998 and the genre "survival horror" had JUST been truly invented. Enough of my babbling though, let's run through the facts of why this game means so much to me.
1) It is based on the 1995 novel by Hideaki Sena, which CAN be found in english and SHOULD be read.
2) The two main characters are just too cool to hate. Aya Brea immediately became my first video game crush.(Oh Aya, I'll find you...one day)
3) This was the first RPG that I ever played that WASN'T a Final Fantasy.
Other than that, I just really can't explain it. This game has always stuck with me and it will always remind me of really growing into "mature" games.
It was scary, challenging, and interesting.

7. Resident Evil (1996, Playstation, Capcom)
I remember the first time I ever saw this game. It was Halloween and I was just too old to go trick-or-treating and just too young to do anything else. So I stayed over at a friend's house to watch some horror movies and relax. Buuuttttt, he had something better. He had Resident Evil! So we cut all the lights and went down to his video game room that had one poorly-lit window. This is how Resident Evil should always be played. I know that the original has been overshadowed by it's successors, but there's this nostalgic edge that really just makes the first one scary when the other one's just aren't. This game set the stage for my love of future series such as Silent Hill and Fatal Frame. I still pull these games out and play them even today.

6. Halo 2 (2004, Xbox, Bungie)
Halo is like a fucking drug. Seriously, I crave it, and then once I get a taste I immediately realize that it is the bane of my existence. I actually like the first Halo game better, but I have to admit that this is the one that belongs on this list. Forget the shitty ending, this game was visually awesome, made for countless nights of entertainment with friends, had a fun campaign mode, and introduced me to online gaming. I can't think of a reason why it wouldn't be on a personal list of influential games. As a die-hard Sony fan, it took this game to make me realize I had to invest in an Xbox and eventually a 360 if I wanted to finish the story. What can I say...I got pulled in.

5. Super Metroid (1994, SNES, NRD)
Super Metroid was the first really expansive game that I remember sweating to beat. It was intense and mind-blowing. Just trying to find your way through this maze of a game was enough to sky-rocket your blood pressure, but then you had to contend with stumbling into boss battles from which there was no escape. Those monsters didn't fuck around either. You were there and you were lunch as far as they were concerned. I just remember the sense of accomplishment that I felt when I finally beat this game, and it meant alot to me. It gave me confidence to tackle games that I may have given up on too early. Super Metroid really made me respect what it took to forge ahead and finish what you started.

4. Castlevania (1987, NES, Konami)
Once again, this is not my favorite game in the series, but it is the game that really made an impact on me in several different ways. Up until Castlevania I had only really played common titles. Mario and Megaman took up most of my video game time. Now, I have always been a nerd and probably always will be since I'm really too old to turn back now, so believe me when I tell you that I actually (even at the age of 8) had legitimate reasons why I didn't want to waste my time on a game called Castlevania. I thought the name was stupid because it was supposed to be Transylvania. OK, I guess it isn't really that unbelievable. Regardless of that, my birthday is just days before Halloween, so I have always been facinated with monsters and dark, creepy imagery. I always thought the decorations and candy were celebrating me hahah...ok just kidding about that, but seriously I was always surrounded by it during my birthday so it was always a really exciting time of year for me. So when I found out that Castlevania was all about those monsters that I already knew and loved, of course I wanted to go slay them!!! Me vs. Dracula, Hell YEAH! What wasn't to like about that. So anyway, I played this game and even though I couldn't beat the original until I was about 16, it was still awesome enough to leave an impression on my small, twisted little mind that can still be seen in the games, books, and movies I love, as well as the personal novels and short stories I love to write.

3. Final Fantasy 7/Final Fantasy 12 (FF7: 1997, Playstation, Squaresoft)
(FF12: 2006, PS2, Square Enix)
These two games being side-by-side probably raises alot of questions. Well, please allow me to explain. Remember back in the day when you went to the video store and you could rent that one little game and keep it for 3 or 4 days? Well, Final Fantasy 1, 2, and 3( 1, 4, and 6 technically) came out during that time for me. That means I didn't even make a dent in those games for the short amount of time I had them. Final Fantasy 7 was the first in the series that I actually owned and completed. Yes it is a very good game and I will have volumes to speak on during Final Fantasy week, but I'm not here to tell you stuff you already know right now. After I finished FF7, the market was innundated with great games that I moved on to and I never gave a second thought to the series as a whole. Therefore, I never played FF8 or FF9. Then, after the release of the PS2 I had become a completely different gamer and I opted not to play FF10. I had officially dropped the series and really didn't care for it outside of the hype that I would catch wind of. That changed when my then and current girlfriend brought Final Fantasy 12 to my attention. I told her that I really hadn't played the series since 7 and she immediately contorted into one of those crazy anime faces you see when a girl goes crazy on a guy. Being told that I must play Final Fantasy 10, as it was one of the best in the series, I concluded that she could kiss my ass because I was going to play FF12 first because it was the most recent. And you know what? I liked it. It was a good play and I thought it was a good story. So, then I relented and played FF10. And you know what? I REALLY liked it. It was even better, so I had to know what I was missing out on. I now own every Final Fantasy in the original series and other spin-offs, sequels, etc. I technically owe it to these two games for making me a Final Fantasy nerd now. It is one of my favorite series and encouraged me to give alot of RPG's a try.

2. Megaman 3/Sonic the Hedgehog 2
Yes, it is another joint spot on the list. These two games are much like the Mortal Kombat/Street Fighter 2 spot because they represent the same thing more than the actual game themselves being the reason they are on here. Megaman is, without debate, my favorite classic series. I have also stated before that Megaman 3 in paticular is my favorite of the series, so of course I spent a many a day playing this game as a kid. It also represents those nostalgic times where I was just so excited to play a game with a friend. My childhood friend introduced me to Megaman series, and while he owned 1 and 2, I was the first one to own MM3. It was exciting that it was my first Megaman game and that it was a brand new one that he didn't have yet. Well, also we came to the conclusion that this would be a trend. We would strategically plan our Christmas wish lists so that we maximized our gaming potential. I got the SNES, he got the Genesis, and so on. This is where Sonic the Hedgehog 2 comes in. I remember having my copy of Gamepro with a complete walkthrough (including secrets) of StH2 and bringing it over to my friends house so we could beat the game when it was brand-new. We were so close to beating it and it was becoming intense. We had to beg our parents to let me spend the night so we could finally conquer the game(we did by the way). This is what these games represent to me, that comraderie and teamwork that friendly gamers can share. We've gotten so bogged down by hiding behind gamer tags that rarely anyone knows how to actually enjoy the game anymore because we're too busy talking shit to people we'll never meet. Whether or not they are bangin a hotter girl or have a better job...NONE OF THAT MATTERS. If you actually give a shit about that then you are pathetic. What happened to just staying up that extra hour to beat the last boss while your friend cheered you on? These are two games that I can still pop in the NES or the Genesis and that same childhood friend I've known for almost all 27 years of life will come over and play. Only now we have to make it a drinking game.

1. Metal Gear Solid (1998, Playstation, Konami)
Along with Parasite Eve this game was released just a year after Final Fantasy 7 and is one of the main reasons I didn't rediscover the series until 2006. This game just kicks soooo much ass. The story is not only amazing on it's own, but if you were familiar with the original Metal Gear games, it was just that much more awesome. It really changed me as a gamer. I felt that I had finally found a genre that was truly mine and no one else's. It just spoke to me and continues to this very day. I have beaten the entire series numerous times, but I don't think anything can reproduce that feeling that I got from beating ANY of these games for the FIRST time. I owe it all to the first in the "Solid" series. While the rest of the Nintendo world was pissing themselves over Ocarina of Time, I was drooling for hours watching Solid Snake be a badass. It just drove me mad needing to know what would happen next and as soon as the game was done, we get the famous Hideo Kojima tease letting us know that the story was far from over. This became my favorite "modern" series and Hideo Kojima immediately became my favorite director. There's really nothing else I can say other than, this is the most influential game for me.

GAMES THAT DIDN'T MAKE IT!!!! (But almost did)

Megaman X (SNES)
Everyone knows that I love classic Megaman series, but I am also a huge fan of the X series. This game though, holds a very nostalgic (and kinda sappy) place in my heart. I didn't even know this game existed when it came out in 1994. I was between the 4th and 5th grade and had a pretty rough year having recovered from two serious illnesses. My dad decided to take me to Toys R Us on a whim while out running errands and let me choose any game that I wanted. That's when I saw Megaman X for the first time. I was a little confused at the title because I knew it couldn't mean 10, but the manual and game would explain that soon enough. I took that game home that day and I still cherish my original copy. It turned out to be (as far as I am concerned) deserving in the top 3 BEST Megaman games of all time. It really is a good game all around and it reminds me of more innocent times. Thanks, Dad.

Super Mario World (SNES)
This game was great because of the endless secrets and alternate paths offered. I really spent alot of time on this game and eventually got 100%.

Oregon Trail (Floppy Disk Bitch!)
The only thing interesting about elementary school computer class. Even with the limited time of the class period, I ended up beating this game. I remember everyone huddling around the screen to watch as I floated down that last stretch of river. It was intense because no one had made it that far.

The Legend of Zelda (NES)
I always loved this game and played it constantly, but it was damn near impossible without dumb-luck or Nintendo Power.

Tomb Raider
This game really satisfied my love of history and mystery. Lara's boobs didn't really do anything for me though...sorry Lara. I did, however, go on to own the whole series and I really do love them, they just didn't have the luxuries other games got. I wasn't very familiar with the first two when they came out, therefore they were very frustrating. They also came out during that time when Playstation was faily new and yet SNES was still kicking. Thirdly, when Playstation took off, there were so many good games that I felt like I rushed through them and never took advantage of all they had to offer. So Tomb Raider may have tried to make the relationship work, I just didn't give back enough.

Punch-Out
Come on, its fucking Punch-Out. Do I really have to say anything? Oh, yea I do actually. Apparently there are people out there who believe it is impossible to beat Mike Tyson. Let me just inform you that means you suck and have no reaction time. I beat him for the first time when I was 16. I actually drove to my friend's (mentioned above) work to tell him that I had just knocked out Mike Tyson finally. I can still do it on command and unless someone can prove me wrong, if you dodge every punch and land your own on every opportunity, you will get a flawless second round KO after 4 knockdowns(total). I have never tried to time myself, I just know that's how fast I could beat him in my prime.

Well, that will complete this post, I hope you enjoyed and look foward to Halo lists that will hopefully be up very soon.

Megaman 1-10...In order of awesomeness

This is another very opinionated list, but I think most people can generally agree where certain Megaman games should fall in order of popularity and playability. This list will close out Original Megaman Series week. Next week will be entirely devoted to..(drumroll)Halo!!! So here's the list and have a great weekend.

Megaman 1-10...in order of awesomeness

10. Megaman 8
I really don't care for this game, but I know a few hardcore Megaman players that really love it. I don't think its a horrible game by any means, it just isn't like any of the other. Sure, MM7 is an oddball also because it is the only title on the SNES in the original series, but 7 is a really great game that retained all of the elements that make the 8-bit titles amazing. While the color is vivid and voice acting is added, the game is largely fogettable to me. Sword Man and Tengu Man are pretty awesome, but all in all it fails in my book.

9. Megaman 9
This one is hard to explain. There was alot of hype surrounding this game and I counted down the weeks waiting on the release. Even though it was very reminicent of Megaman 1, it just lacked a certain aire that surrounds a good Megaman game. MM1 was VERY challenging game just being what it was. It seems like they were trying too much to make MM9 difficult. It seems really forced in certain areas, as if it was set up as a game just for trophies acheivements. I completely lost that excitement and played through this game like I was at a dentist appointment.

8. Megaman 10
Yes, I know, the two newest games are back-to-back. The same applies (sort of) to this game as MM9. It just didn't do it for me really, it only did it slightly better than 9. The challenges are a fun addition, but I play for the game itself. That being the criteria, I can't put this game any higher on the list. The characters were better and the gameplay suited the old school MM player, but the weapons were crappy and I really had no enjoyment playing through more than once.

7. Megaman 6
This pains me. I really like playing 6, but let's be honest, it is not anywhere near the best in the series. All of the classic elements we have come to accept as "Megaman" are here. Megabuster, the slide, and rush...wait, well that's different! Ok the adapters: you either love them of hate them. The characters are kinda cheesy by this point, but hey, Megaman bosses have always been cooky and sometimes laughable. Maybe because this game came out as the NES was yielding to the SNES, but it just never really stayed in the hearts of many MM players. I, for one, find myself playing this and MM3 the most. It holds a special place in my childhood memories, but only the number 7 place on this list.

6. Megaman 5
This might come as a shock, because MM5 is a huge fan favorite. All of the elements that were tested in MMs 1-4 culminated in the extremely fluid gameplay of MM5. It also took chances and experimented vivid backgrounds, sharp colors, and a storyline revolving around the mysterious Proto Man(which excited many long-time fans of the series). MM5, to me, is a changing point in the series as a whole. This game changed the whole mood, and created the elements I believe led to the "X" series. The characters are cool, but nothing incredible. The weapons are good, but nothing incredible either. It is very hard to explain, but this game just doesn't quite have the same dark atmosphere that the previous games brought. The situation never felt dire, I was never really caught off guard by anything, and overall, the game just slides by without gripping you.

5. Megaman
The fact alone that the original is just TOO important to gaming is reason enough that it should be in the top 5, but many people don't consider it a great game because it was "testing" period. It really wasn't perfect and seeing what Megaman is now, it is even more frustrating to play, but it is still a classic game that started a great franchise.

4. Megaman 4
About that changing period I was talking about? Well, this is the game that feel was the evolution period. Just look at MM3 and MM5 and they are worlds apart. MM4 really tried to hold on to the dark atmosphere and serious tone of MM3, but it took chances by adding new elements. We got the Mega Buster and two items that were reminicent of Megaman 2's items: The Balloon and, the more famous, Wire Claw. Also the storyline was risky due to the fact that a new villain was presented. Had we really seen the last of Wily? This game is just superior to MM5. The enemies were very, cool (well most of them, Dust Man is kind of lame and Toad man is just...well there really aren't words to describe it) and the game play is solid, though not as tight as MM3 or 5. Basically, this game transitioned what Megaman had been, and where it was headed.

3. Megaman 7
The Darkhorse Candidate! I really love this game. With the move to the SNES, this game could have epically failed...but it DIDN'T! This game felt like a Megaman from the first time we layed eyes on 16-bit Megaman, Wily, Roll, and Rush. While the gameplay felt sluggish compared to the older counterparts, I loved the generous amount of secrets that made for great replay value and one of the best casts(if I do say so myself). The Robot Masters were generally all cool and well designed. There really was no one I hated. Also, as far as challenge, this game was very difficult to beat(mainly due to the final boss fight). The music didn't dissapoint, either. This all adds up to a quality Megaman game, even if it wasn't as nostalgic.

2. Megaman 2
I know this is THE game that everyone thinks about when you talk about classic Megaman, but, come on, it does have flaws people. Yes the music is outstanding and the cast is awesome, but it just didn't have the elements that we associate with Megaman as a series. Energy tanks were scarce, Rush was missing, and the slide is really something we can't do without now. This is game is great, really REALLY great, but it really isn't the best of the series to me.

1. Megaman 3
This is the king of classic Megaman, hands down. Argue all you want, but if you are a real Megaman fan, you have to admit several facts. 1)The gameplay never got smoother than it was right here. 2)The music in MM3 is every bit as good as MM2. Hell, the intro theme in MM3 is enough to make you cry, and Wily stage 2 and 3 music pumps you up just as much as Wily stage 1 in MM2(which is largely considered the best song in the series. I really can't disagree. To each their own though.) This game had the best cast of Robot Masters and the castle bosses are unique and really trippy at times. Plus, we get to fight over the bosses from MM2! The game is pretty long and gives your bang for buck. It isn't overly challenging but is genuinely fun.

So that wraps up Megaman week. See you on monday, where I will kick off Halo week with "The Top 10 hardest levels(on legendary) in Halo series."

Top 10 Coolest Robot Masters

First off, this list is incredibly opinionated, mainly because there is no real criteria to determine what is "cool". If some of you out there think Toad Man is the shit, then more power to you. Just don't expect to find him on MY list. So i guess this is just for fun and allows any Megaman fans start thinking of how they would rank their favorites. Keep in mind that I'm basing my criteria off of the character's design, both visually and ability. This list may not contain the "hardest" bosses, but these are the characters I feel look bad-ass, have cool weapons, and can put up a fight. Alright, no more blabbing heres the list

The Top 10 Coolest Robot Masters(in my mind, at least)

10. Knight Man (Megaman 6)
This spot was really a tie between Knight Man and Sword Man from MM8, but I just had to give it to Knight Man because his stage is cool, his design is cool and even if he is easy as hell to beat, he's just cool in my book. This is a number 10 spot that could have gone to any of the characters that will be honorable mentions at the end of the list.

9. Splash Woman (Megaman 9)
I think a majority of Megaman players were a little worried when it was revealed that Megaman 9 was going to include the first female Robot Master to appear in the series. Not because Megaman players are sexist, but because the MM series has been notorious for over the top cliched characters. Some of them are just ridiculous. LOOK WHAT THEY DID WITH THOMAHAWK MAN AND YAMATO MAN FOR CHRIST'S SAKE. So you girls can't sit there and tell me you weren't just as worried that the first female Robot Master was going to come out in a pink fucking tutu. Well, while still a little cliche', we got Splash Woman. A mermaid...ok it really is still girly, but what did you expect. MM has a long tradition of making people roll their eyes so why change that in the reincarnation of the 8-bit series? Well she's actually designed pretty cool and her weapon is fucking sweet. She puts up a good bit of challenge, but, really who didn't in MM9? All in all, she's a cool character.

8. Fire Man (Megaman)
You could tell this guy was gonna be a pain in your ass the first time you saw him. Double Fire Cannons and a torch on his head! Yea, he's got the looks. But, on top of that, he turned out being that pain in ass, afterall. Suprise, Suprise. So when you get to Fire Man you better pray you have all of your energy because this is a knockdown, dragout, last man standing fight. No skill here folks. Equip Ice Man's weapon (which is kinda funny when you think about it...{sigh} lets see, well I guess as the Ice comes in, he melts it and it turns to water which is still coming at him and puts him out...I don't know, why did I think about it?) and start blasting away, trading blows until one of you is dead. That's an adrenline rush, every time. Thanks, Fire Man!

7. Tengu Man (Megaman 8)
Look, I'm not gonna lie, I don't like MM8 very much and if it wasn't for the superior graphics, I don't know what this character would have looked like. What I do know is he looks pretty damn awesome with the PSone graphics. That alone doesn't earn a spot on this list, however, because I feel that the 8-bit characters pretty much kick-ass and still look awesome. Tengu Man is also a douche bag, which DOES earn him a spot on this list. He's cocky, belligerent, and challenging.

6. Napalm Man (Megaman 5)
The name alone says (in an Ivan Drago voice), "You will lose". But he's freaking armed to the teeth, heavily armored, and has tank treads...there is nothing uncool about that. I'm sure many will agree that we wish we had gotten to see a little more potential out of that arsenal and his weapon you acquire is mediocre, but he was still the coolest character out of MM5. (even though I like Gyro Man personally...he had the military thing goin too)

5. Quick Man (Megaman 2)
Megaman 2 is just such an awesome game and the characters were a big jumping point from MM1, but Quick Man is the only one who really stood out for me. I thought Crash Man was awesome when I was younger, but as I grew up I came to realize that they should've done so much more with him. Quick Man, though, is still a challenge for me now. That really says alot. Even though I thought they made him a little too bulky (being Quick and all, ya know), he's still extremely fast and can make short work of you. Plus, the boomerangs are awesome. You, know the more I think about it, he kinda looks like they designed him after the Flash...Quick Man...The Flash...Quick Man is in a game with a guy called FLASH MAN!!!What are they trying to tell us! The Davinci Code is in Megaman 2!!!! OW OW OW my head hurts.

4. Snake Man
I'm sorry for that last outburst. Not to worry, though, I just took two advil and another Vodka shot and its back to work! Woo Hoo! Snake Man! Of course I'm going to like this guy. I go by "Snake", he goes by "Snake", we're practically brothers. Except he's totally badass and I'm hiding in the Internet. Everything about Snake man is awesome though. His little smirk on the Boss selection screen says, "oh yea, baby, eat that forbidden fruit". He's also very durable and it takes quite a beating to defeat him. Not to mention his music is one of the best of the series.

3. Slash Man (Megaman 7)
Wolverine only had a metal skeleton...this guy is Wolverine with a metal BODY. And he shakes down lava onto you. Enough said.

2. Pharoah Man (Megaman 4)
Quite possibly my favorite character in the entire series. Pharoah Man looks awesome, fights awesome, has the best weapon in the game, and has a cool stage and music. End of story. He's wicked.

1. Shadow Man (Megaman 3)
Now please let me state first that in the eternal struggle between pirates and ninjas...I am a pirate. BUT, out of respect for my nemeses, I must admit that Shadow Man is probably the coolest character in the original series. He's a damn ninja. He's fast as shit, suprise attacks you out of nowhere, and throws giant shurikens. That's...just...awesome. Oh wait, Top Spin takes him out, HAHAHA, hoist the flag mateys, all we have to do is blow a little wind on them. Har Har Har...

Weapons that didn't make the cut

This is just a short list of some very popular weapons that didn't make my countdown of the Top 10 Most Useful Weapons from the Megaman Series. They are all good in one way or another, they just happen to be overshadowed by better ones.

Weapons that Didn't Make the Cut

Silver Thomahawk (Megaman 6)
This weapon is powerful but unwieldy. It really takes some practice and a natural degree of play control that you only see in experienced Megaman players. The rising effect of the weapon makes it hard to judge in certain situations and if you miss with a risky and precise move, the outcome is usually not pretty. I do find myself using this weapon alot, however it just can't be compared with weapons as thoroughly dominate as Shadow or Metal Blade Those are the true fire and forget weapons.

Search Snake (Megaman 3)
Most people wrote this weapon off as completely weak and useless. It really only takes a good bit of experimentation to find out that this little weapon can really help you "slither" out of some bad situations(haha hehe oh ho, yea just keep shaking your head and let me entertain myself). This weapon just isn't as useful as Shadow Blade or Needle Cannon from MM3.

Star Crash and Skull Barrier (Megaman 5 and Megaman 4)
I touched on it in decent detail during the countdown so I won't reiterate too much, but I really just wanted to say that these weapons are extremely helpful and fun to use. They really deserve to be on a countdown for Cool Weapons, but they just didn't quite make it on the Useful countdown.

Slash Claw (Megaman 7)
Alright I'm sure that someone is going to call me out on the fact that no weapons from Megaman 7 or 8 made the most Useful Weapons countdown. Well, mainly is because of the design of these two games. They are the oddballs in the 1-10 list because they are not 8-bit and therefore play differently. There are some awesome weapons in these games and MM7 is one of my favorites in the series. Slash Claw is one of those weapons that is fast and deadly, and despite being close range, it makes an otherwise sluggish Mega Man(thanks to the gameplay) seem like a Ninja. This weapon is just a blast to use but I couldn't in good conscience put it on the countdown for two reasons. It is highly debateable as to which weapon in Megaman 7 is the most useful aaaannndddd It is highly debateable whether or not ANY weapon in Megaman 7 has the same degree of utility as any of the weapons from the countdown.